Showing posts with label personal reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal reflection. Show all posts
1. Making my voice heard
You ever realize that you're sick of not voicing your opinion? Letting people talk over you and not adding anything to the conversation. Well, this year I want to not be afraid to say what I'm feeling about a viewpoint, situation or what is going to be best for me in the long run. I pride myself on being a really good listener when it comes to having a conversation with friends, family and even strangers, but I want to remind myself that I can have a solid train of thought and eloquently voice it without the fear of being judged. I think the biggest thing that holds me back is the response of the other person in the conversation, not knowing induces high anxiety for me. It is an innate fear of them rejecting me and that makes my fight or flight response kick in, so I'm aiming to really work on getting out of my head while in a conversation with someone and to simply exist in the moment. How liberating that sounds.
2. Having a regular sleep schedule
2020 provided all of us with PLENTY, but I know I'm not alone in the fact that a small aspect of the dumpster fire of the year was simply having an irregular sleep routine. For me when I say irregular.. I mean staying up for 24 hours one to two times a week or sometimes going to bed at 3am and not getting up until 4pm. Who knew that could be bad for you? Hah. I've had periods of time when my sleep schedule gets messed up but damn, it's really bad right now. My body is tired, all the time. I'd very much like to go back to getting 6-7 hours of solid sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and productive for the day. So here's to going to bed at 11pm or midnight and waking up around 7am, which is super attainable for me now because I have someone to do that with. 😁
3. Drinking more water
All I do is drink Diet Pepsi and coffee. It's an endless cycle, with some water here and there. For 2021 though, I want to become a water fountain and just continuously drink and drink until I become the most hydrated human being in existence. Seriously though, I need to drink at least 5-6 glasses a day because I'm severely lacking right now. The biggest thing I want to get out of this is that I'm hoping it will help improve my mood, skin and body in general. I bought a couple water bottles to help out, so cross your fingers for me!
4. Opening a savings account
I am horrible with money, truly. Being unemployed for the past two years has been pretty difficult to try and improve that statement, however, you'll catch me every day working on finding a new job and I only wish I could be paid for how many hours I've spent on sending in my resume. Why is money so stressful too? If there is one thing I actually hate, it's that we rely so much on money and how it encompasses our adult life until you die. Before this year ends though, I aim to open a savings account and start putting aside funds that will help me in the future when I'm older and need to rely solely on myself to simply survive.
5. Continuing to educate myself
Educating yourself is a lifelong process and learning how to be anti-racist is a big part of that. I believe that no one is inherently racist but that they're taught to be and it's their decision to live in that hate or to branch away and realize that we're all human beings and that we should live in love. It's also way too easy for people to show support for a movement and then go on with their lives, which we see time and time again. However after what happened in June, it's been a stark reminder that every day I have to show up (as well as the people around me) and I should be prepared for tough conversations and not shrink away from something that may make me feel 'uncomfortable.' I came across this newsletter called "Anti-Racism Daily" that sends daily actions to 'dismantle white supremacy' and I highly recommend signing up for it as well. Let's keep fighting and showing up for the people that need it the most and not step over the people that need to be heard. Listen, learn and love.
FIVE PERSONAL CHANGES TO MAKE THIS YEAR
January 8, 2021 • minneapolis blogger, minnesota blogger, mostly lisa, new year goals, personal goals, personal reflection, twin cities blogger
1. Making my voice heard
You ever realize that you're sick of not voicing your opinion? Letting people talk over you and not adding anything to the conversation. Well, this year I want to not be afraid to say what I'm feeling about a viewpoint, situation or what is going to be best for me in the long run. I pride myself on being a really good listener when it comes to having a conversation with friends, family and even strangers, but I want to remind myself that I can have a solid train of thought and eloquently voice it without the fear of being judged. I think the biggest thing that holds me back is the response of the other person in the conversation, not knowing induces high anxiety for me. It is an innate fear of them rejecting me and that makes my fight or flight response kick in, so I'm aiming to really work on getting out of my head while in a conversation with someone and to simply exist in the moment. How liberating that sounds.
2. Having a regular sleep schedule
2020 provided all of us with PLENTY, but I know I'm not alone in the fact that a small aspect of the dumpster fire of the year was simply having an irregular sleep routine. For me when I say irregular.. I mean staying up for 24 hours one to two times a week or sometimes going to bed at 3am and not getting up until 4pm. Who knew that could be bad for you? Hah. I've had periods of time when my sleep schedule gets messed up but damn, it's really bad right now. My body is tired, all the time. I'd very much like to go back to getting 6-7 hours of solid sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and productive for the day. So here's to going to bed at 11pm or midnight and waking up around 7am, which is super attainable for me now because I have someone to do that with. 😁
3. Drinking more water
All I do is drink Diet Pepsi and coffee. It's an endless cycle, with some water here and there. For 2021 though, I want to become a water fountain and just continuously drink and drink until I become the most hydrated human being in existence. Seriously though, I need to drink at least 5-6 glasses a day because I'm severely lacking right now. The biggest thing I want to get out of this is that I'm hoping it will help improve my mood, skin and body in general. I bought a couple water bottles to help out, so cross your fingers for me!
4. Opening a savings account
I am horrible with money, truly. Being unemployed for the past two years has been pretty difficult to try and improve that statement, however, you'll catch me every day working on finding a new job and I only wish I could be paid for how many hours I've spent on sending in my resume. Why is money so stressful too? If there is one thing I actually hate, it's that we rely so much on money and how it encompasses our adult life until you die. Before this year ends though, I aim to open a savings account and start putting aside funds that will help me in the future when I'm older and need to rely solely on myself to simply survive.
5. Continuing to educate myself
Educating yourself is a lifelong process and learning how to be anti-racist is a big part of that. I believe that no one is inherently racist but that they're taught to be and it's their decision to live in that hate or to branch away and realize that we're all human beings and that we should live in love. It's also way too easy for people to show support for a movement and then go on with their lives, which we see time and time again. However after what happened in June, it's been a stark reminder that every day I have to show up (as well as the people around me) and I should be prepared for tough conversations and not shrink away from something that may make me feel 'uncomfortable.' I came across this newsletter called "Anti-Racism Daily" that sends daily actions to 'dismantle white supremacy' and I highly recommend signing up for it as well. Let's keep fighting and showing up for the people that need it the most and not step over the people that need to be heard. Listen, learn and love.
Oh 2019, I will not miss you. You were an absolute shit show, for literally everyone. The year, for me, started off really high and then ended at the very bottom of what you expect a low to be. It was spectacularly, devastatingly life changing and was not at all where I expected the year to go for me. I can look back at it now and be somewhat grateful that what happened, happened, but it was not at all wanted at the time. That being said, my expectations for 2020 are at the bare minimum and so I now want to take back the narrative of life and really focus on things that are going to make me happy. I'm more determined than ever to continue telling myself to keep going, to not blame myself for things I cannot control, to love myself completely and to not sweat the small things. I have been knocked down millions of times but I'm still here, and I'm looking to be inspired by other people who have done the same in even worse situations. Those are the people I am going to look up to. Listen, I have no idea where this year will take me, I don't think anyone really does, but to start this new narrative, I have come up with five things to do this year that will hopefully guide me to a more positive ending. Please read below and let me know what you are planning on doing in 2020 to make life more enjoyable.
WORK
Photo via Morgan Harper Nichols
I worked really, REALLY hard to get to where I was at the beginning of 2019. I busted my ass to truly figure out where I wanted my future to go at the company I was working at, took the leap, and started working in a role that was essentially what I had been working towards since I graduated college. It was my dream career. Five months into the position, not even a real chance to show what I could do, it was snatched away from me. I'm not going to go into details with what happened, however, my life was flipped upside down. It felt like all the hard work I had done up to this point was for nothing, the belief in myself was shattered and I felt like I had no purpose anymore. Not to play the tiny violin on me though, because life moves on, doesn't it? As the trauma has moved further and further away from my present self, I've gained clarity from the people around me and am now looking to the future. I have now decided that the event doesn't define me anymore and I'm ready for a new adventure, a better one, that will lead me into even greater opportunities. This leads me into the first thing I'd like to do in 2020 - find a new job. Let's do it!
LIVE
Photo via RÜNI CLAY STUDIO
Photo via 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝕸𝖚𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗
These are pretty obvious for the explaining why, however, getting my ears re-pierced is something only recently that I've gotten into wanting to do. I originally got them done when I was in 6th or 7th grade but I didn't like the way they framed my face so I let them close and my earlobes have been naked ever since. There is this recent trend of really gorgeous handmade sculptural earrings made out of brass or clay that I've been obsessed with and I may just need to cover my lobes in something beautiful again. This goes with my skin as well, so getting a new tattoo is also on my list.
CREATE
Photo via Walmart.com
Anyone on here interested in the ASMR community? Raise your hand, because I don't want to be the only one! If you take a look at my YouTube history, you may just see that I've become enamored with watching various artists (itsblitzzz, mads asmr, Gibi ASMR) in the past couple years create some very relaxing content. I mean, truly relaxing. The best part is that it's really helped with my anxiety, depression and feelings of loneliness over the past several months. The community itself is also very positive, so with the suggestion from one of my friends, I've been planning on starting my own ASMR channel where I read some of my favorite books and possibly do various triggers that I find calming. The main goal is to actually get the channel up and running with at least one video - getting the proper equipment is what is holding back - by the middle of this year. Would anyone watch these?
LEARN
Photo via Brit & Co.
Who doesn't want to learn more every year? I'm trying to find new skills to learn that aren't just career-focused but projects that I can work on by myself in the comfort of my own home. I tried picking up a few things here and there back in 2016, to no luck. Let's just say I've never seen myself so frustrated trying to learn how to crochet. I'm older now (which means I'm trying to be less anxious about not getting things correct the first time) and want to take up a few easy classes to create, just create. Brit + Co. is really great offering affordable classes on various subjects, i.e; calligraphy, painting, knitting, so I'm hoping I can start one during these colder months and into spring!
HOST
Photo via A Gypsy in the City
The last thing I'd like to do in 2020 is to host! Parties, coffee chats, a night out to celebrate, anything really. There are so many beautiful ways to be inspired to host a gathering so I want to create something of my own that people can enjoy. My first idea is to do a Galentine's Day-themed party filled with all the gal-pal love you could ask for. I'm thinking plush pink velvet, heart-shaped balloons, cupcakes, a fun backdrop to take pictures at, and so much more. How would you throw this pre-Valentine's Day party? Let me know down below!
Always,
Mostly Lisa
Mostly Lisa
5 THINGS TO DO IN 2020
January 13, 2020 • 5 things to do, lifestyle blog, minneapolis fashion blogger, minnesota blogger, mostly lisa, personal goals, personal reflection, twin cities blogger, twin cities collective
Oh 2019, I will not miss you. You were an absolute shit show, for literally everyone. The year, for me, started off really high and then ended at the very bottom of what you expect a low to be. It was spectacularly, devastatingly life changing and was not at all where I expected the year to go for me. I can look back at it now and be somewhat grateful that what happened, happened, but it was not at all wanted at the time. That being said, my expectations for 2020 are at the bare minimum and so I now want to take back the narrative of life and really focus on things that are going to make me happy. I'm more determined than ever to continue telling myself to keep going, to not blame myself for things I cannot control, to love myself completely and to not sweat the small things. I have been knocked down millions of times but I'm still here, and I'm looking to be inspired by other people who have done the same in even worse situations. Those are the people I am going to look up to. Listen, I have no idea where this year will take me, I don't think anyone really does, but to start this new narrative, I have come up with five things to do this year that will hopefully guide me to a more positive ending. Please read below and let me know what you are planning on doing in 2020 to make life more enjoyable.
WORK
Photo via Morgan Harper Nichols
I worked really, REALLY hard to get to where I was at the beginning of 2019. I busted my ass to truly figure out where I wanted my future to go at the company I was working at, took the leap, and started working in a role that was essentially what I had been working towards since I graduated college. It was my dream career. Five months into the position, not even a real chance to show what I could do, it was snatched away from me. I'm not going to go into details with what happened, however, my life was flipped upside down. It felt like all the hard work I had done up to this point was for nothing, the belief in myself was shattered and I felt like I had no purpose anymore. Not to play the tiny violin on me though, because life moves on, doesn't it? As the trauma has moved further and further away from my present self, I've gained clarity from the people around me and am now looking to the future. I have now decided that the event doesn't define me anymore and I'm ready for a new adventure, a better one, that will lead me into even greater opportunities. This leads me into the first thing I'd like to do in 2020 - find a new job. Let's do it!
LIVE
Photo via RÜNI CLAY STUDIO
Photo via 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖓𝖊𝖞 𝕸𝖚𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗
These are pretty obvious for the explaining why, however, getting my ears re-pierced is something only recently that I've gotten into wanting to do. I originally got them done when I was in 6th or 7th grade but I didn't like the way they framed my face so I let them close and my earlobes have been naked ever since. There is this recent trend of really gorgeous handmade sculptural earrings made out of brass or clay that I've been obsessed with and I may just need to cover my lobes in something beautiful again. This goes with my skin as well, so getting a new tattoo is also on my list.
CREATE
Photo via Walmart.com
Anyone on here interested in the ASMR community? Raise your hand, because I don't want to be the only one! If you take a look at my YouTube history, you may just see that I've become enamored with watching various artists (itsblitzzz, mads asmr, Gibi ASMR) in the past couple years create some very relaxing content. I mean, truly relaxing. The best part is that it's really helped with my anxiety, depression and feelings of loneliness over the past several months. The community itself is also very positive, so with the suggestion from one of my friends, I've been planning on starting my own ASMR channel where I read some of my favorite books and possibly do various triggers that I find calming. The main goal is to actually get the channel up and running with at least one video - getting the proper equipment is what is holding back - by the middle of this year. Would anyone watch these?
LEARN
Photo via Brit & Co.
Who doesn't want to learn more every year? I'm trying to find new skills to learn that aren't just career-focused but projects that I can work on by myself in the comfort of my own home. I tried picking up a few things here and there back in 2016, to no luck. Let's just say I've never seen myself so frustrated trying to learn how to crochet. I'm older now (which means I'm trying to be less anxious about not getting things correct the first time) and want to take up a few easy classes to create, just create. Brit + Co. is really great offering affordable classes on various subjects, i.e; calligraphy, painting, knitting, so I'm hoping I can start one during these colder months and into spring!
HOST
Photo via A Gypsy in the City
The last thing I'd like to do in 2020 is to host! Parties, coffee chats, a night out to celebrate, anything really. There are so many beautiful ways to be inspired to host a gathering so I want to create something of my own that people can enjoy. My first idea is to do a Galentine's Day-themed party filled with all the gal-pal love you could ask for. I'm thinking plush pink velvet, heart-shaped balloons, cupcakes, a fun backdrop to take pictures at, and so much more. How would you throw this pre-Valentine's Day party? Let me know down below!
Always,
Mostly Lisa
Mostly Lisa
First off, I FINALLY got a new job! It's still beyond crazy that I can actually say that now, the wait and the determination to find something outside of what I was doing was very arduous. To be honest, I was becoming extremely depressed and anxious that I was never going to be good enough for anything else besides the part-time position I was in. Don't get me wrong, what I was doing was absolutely amazing (being part of the social media team for the biggest Mall in America, WHAT?) and it was my first career job that I had out of college, but it had begun to drain me of my motivation, passion, and energy to keep going. After two years of learning about myself, what else I could picture myself doing in my future and having it culminate to something better, is nothing I take lightly. We all have our own path, whether we like it or not, and my path has steered me in directions that I haven't always necessarily enjoyed. Thankfully, this new course has led me into a full-time internship within the same company I was working at previously and it's been an absolute joy. It's given me new motivation in myself, and hopefully, what my future will look like after the internship is done.
All of this being said, the past two weeks have been emotionally draining for me. My depression has literally been kicking me in the ass, and I'm so upset that it's still rearing its ugly head - even when I should be happy with where I'm at right now. I know that depression doesn't just go away when something majorly positive happens, but I've been battling this since I was sixteen and I hate that it can still affect me when I least expect it. While I may be surprised that it's popped up lately, there are a few small things that have triggered me to be in a severely downcast mood. Family, friends, my feeling of self-worth being down in the gutter, my finances, and even the weather a little bit. They've all been this catalyst for the negativity to be clouding my brain. The self-worth aspect has been a major issue for me and will probably continue to do so- it's just a feeling of not being important to anyone, like if I disappeared that no one would care. I can have a whole group of people surround me and give me positivity + love in my life, but I still feel like I'm always being left out or forgotten. I'm not saying that I'm suicidal, I haven't tried anything for a very long time, but it's tough when you don't feel like you're being seen or heard. I hate that I'm saying this, but I ache and desperately need that sort of everyday validation or emotional connection. My thought process goes haywire when I don't receive that, but I think that is just a natural human emotion, if anything.
I won't let depression define or consume me. Hell, I can hide it very well in my day-to-day life and can surprise a lot of people when I disclaim that I'm suffering from it. After all these years, it's now gotten to the point that I can tell when a bout of negativity is going to flare up, but sometimes it is a guessing game. What or who is going to be the triggering point for it to start? Will it be myself and my inner thoughts, or an external source? I do go by the mantra though that it will eventually pass and I'll come out stronger on the other side. I just wish and hope that someday I'll constantly be able to be on that other side, stronger than ever.
If you're still with me on this long post, I appreciate it. I wouldn't normally write about something so personal on this blog, but I thought it'd be important to share this story with everyone. I know that some of the things I write about are a little superficial, there are so many other important things to talk about, but they are really what bring me joy and happiness. They spark my creativity and passion for something and you can't really deny anyone that.
If you are going through something similar - speak up! I'd love to hear about your strength and resilience going through such a tough mental illness. So I'll let this post sink in and will hopefully be start getting back into the swing of things soon. Enjoy this great outfit I put together with most items from Arc's Value Village (see my Instagram takeover I did two weekends ago) and a great top from Who What Wear x Target! See new posts next month.
Always,
Mostly Lisa
Mostly Lisa
MY STYLE FILE: A LIFE IN REFLECTION
May 23, 2017 • depression, mental health month, mental illness, minneapolis, minnesota, mostly lisa, my style file, personal, personal reflection, twin cities blogger
First off, I FINALLY got a new job! It's still beyond crazy that I can actually say that now, the wait and the determination to find something outside of what I was doing was very arduous. To be honest, I was becoming extremely depressed and anxious that I was never going to be good enough for anything else besides the part-time position I was in. Don't get me wrong, what I was doing was absolutely amazing (being part of the social media team for the biggest Mall in America, WHAT?) and it was my first career job that I had out of college, but it had begun to drain me of my motivation, passion, and energy to keep going. After two years of learning about myself, what else I could picture myself doing in my future and having it culminate to something better, is nothing I take lightly. We all have our own path, whether we like it or not, and my path has steered me in directions that I haven't always necessarily enjoyed. Thankfully, this new course has led me into a full-time internship within the same company I was working at previously and it's been an absolute joy. It's given me new motivation in myself, and hopefully, what my future will look like after the internship is done.
All of this being said, the past two weeks have been emotionally draining for me. My depression has literally been kicking me in the ass, and I'm so upset that it's still rearing its ugly head - even when I should be happy with where I'm at right now. I know that depression doesn't just go away when something majorly positive happens, but I've been battling this since I was sixteen and I hate that it can still affect me when I least expect it. While I may be surprised that it's popped up lately, there are a few small things that have triggered me to be in a severely downcast mood. Family, friends, my feeling of self-worth being down in the gutter, my finances, and even the weather a little bit. They've all been this catalyst for the negativity to be clouding my brain. The self-worth aspect has been a major issue for me and will probably continue to do so- it's just a feeling of not being important to anyone, like if I disappeared that no one would care. I can have a whole group of people surround me and give me positivity + love in my life, but I still feel like I'm always being left out or forgotten. I'm not saying that I'm suicidal, I haven't tried anything for a very long time, but it's tough when you don't feel like you're being seen or heard. I hate that I'm saying this, but I ache and desperately need that sort of everyday validation or emotional connection. My thought process goes haywire when I don't receive that, but I think that is just a natural human emotion, if anything.
I won't let depression define or consume me. Hell, I can hide it very well in my day-to-day life and can surprise a lot of people when I disclaim that I'm suffering from it. After all these years, it's now gotten to the point that I can tell when a bout of negativity is going to flare up, but sometimes it is a guessing game. What or who is going to be the triggering point for it to start? Will it be myself and my inner thoughts, or an external source? I do go by the mantra though that it will eventually pass and I'll come out stronger on the other side. I just wish and hope that someday I'll constantly be able to be on that other side, stronger than ever.
If you're still with me on this long post, I appreciate it. I wouldn't normally write about something so personal on this blog, but I thought it'd be important to share this story with everyone. I know that some of the things I write about are a little superficial, there are so many other important things to talk about, but they are really what bring me joy and happiness. They spark my creativity and passion for something and you can't really deny anyone that.
If you are going through something similar - speak up! I'd love to hear about your strength and resilience going through such a tough mental illness. So I'll let this post sink in and will hopefully be start getting back into the swing of things soon. Enjoy this great outfit I put together with most items from Arc's Value Village (see my Instagram takeover I did two weekends ago) and a great top from Who What Wear x Target! See new posts next month.
Always,
Mostly Lisa
Mostly Lisa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons